My glamorous life

I had to make a run to the PX this afternoon. (Post Exchange for you lay persons.) I told the kids if everyone was good, we could stop at the food court on the way out and we'd all get something to drink. That seemed to bribe them well, so they agreed to behave. All expect N, who looked at me as only a 15 month old can and seemed to say, "Wanna bet?" So, we all trudge in to the PX amongst every single person who could possibly be on Fort Hood at that exact same moment. (Need I mention how Fort Hood is one of the largest posts in the US and one of the smallest PX's?) I tell S that we need to make a potty run prior to entering the store since there is only one bathroom right before the entrance. She said she's good, despite my many efforts to convince her otherwise. Off we go! I should probably mention that going to the PX is a bit like an amusement park -- waaaayyy too many people, lines everywhere, and employees who don't seem to do alot of anything at all. We get one of the things on our list right away. Score! I decide to take the long way around the store since I wanna window shop the aisle sales. Mistake number one. N tries to pull every single thing within pawing distance right off the shelves. I start walking faster and stop at the shoe department where they are having a big sale. J wants to measure his shoe size, so I concede. I glance down as I'm browsing and notice that I have had my 5 year old son is the wrong size shoe!! Again!! Oh yes, I've done this before. He was wearing a size 11 and his foot was a 13. Sheesh! So I tell him, "Let's pick out a pair of shoes." Mistake number 2. He only wants every shoe in there that costs an arm and a leg. The whole time S is shouting, "Oh Momma, look at these! They are Tinkerbell, princess, etc," as she pulls every single pair of girl shoes out of the containers. N has several random shoes in the basket with him by now. Sigh. We settle on a pair of black knock-off converse brand shoes that are remarkably cheap. Best part of it, S got a pair of pink ones as well, so no fits! On to the health and beauty section. I nearly mow down a lady with a baby in my attempt to squeeze past the employee with a line of carts just hanging out in the middle of the aisle, chit chatting. I get a few more items on my list and we're done. Of course, the kids spy the toy section in the distance and start asking to go see them. I tell them we aren't buying toys today and they start asking if they can just pet them. Oh for pete's sake!! Poor neglected children, right? I move my basket at the speed of light to the checkout counter, children whinig the whole way about not petting the toys. I score a register with no one at it and get checked out with no fanfare! Hallelujiah! So, at this point I need some caffeine in a bad way, so we stop at the food court to get something to drink. I get the cups and go over to the drink machine. No ice in it. Sigh. Go to the next drink machine. No ice. Double sigh. Finally at the third machine, there is ice. Thank you, God. I get the kids lemonades and go to get my DDP. Nothing comes out. In my brain, there is a loud roaring. WHERE IS THE DIET DR PEPPER?? I eventually settle for something, but I couldn't tell you if it was coke, water or a big pile of crap. As long as I got out of there. So, I tell the kids we are done and let's go home. As we are walking out, J drops his drink. I ask him if he hates me. He says no and we go get some paper towels to clean it up and refill his drink -- halfway this time. By now, N is ready to get out of the basket, so I bribe him with some M&M's to get him through the next couple of minutes. (Hey, don't judge me!) We finally make it back to the exit door and S pipes up, "I need to go pee pee." I ask her if she hates me. She says no and we head to the restroom. Of course, its being cleaned. So we wait. We get in and out in record time and as we are leaving I see N bent over backwards trying to reach something in the basket, all the while there is red M&M drool dropping straight into my lovely pink bag. Sigh. We get to the van, load everyone up and start to head home. Look at the gas gauge and see the little light go off. Oh goody, another stop. ;)